God works it out when there seems to be no way

Note: If you don’t want to know all the details about the schooling situation of our kids, just the lessons learned, skip to the last paragraph.

Spoiler alert: God is so good and so faithful and so able to work things out.

Even though I have seen and experienced that truth so many times in my life, I seem to continue to have trouble remembering it in those really stressful times when doubt can creep in. Our kids’ schooling was one such time that God used to once again try to ingrain this truth deep within me.

The first school

I had found a school at the end of last year that I felt would be a good fit for our kids… or at least decent for what was feasible in terms of finances and location. While the building and classrooms were very small and had become a bit decrepit, the warmth of the people made up for that. The director was inviting, optimistic, and enthusiastic and showed a deep care and understanding of children. Teachers were friendly. But what drew me most was hearing the responses of students (probably grades 7-9) that I was invited to interact with: positive relationships with teachers, good balance between academics and fun, best friends, ability work at a higher level, better school than their school in the States, etc. The other thing that drew me is that I thought it would be a place where my kids could really find a sense of belonging as I was told that most of the kids were Togolese but had lived some of their lives in the States. Finally there could be kids similar to my own American-Togolese kids that they would more likely be able to connect with. While we had not agreed yet to send our kids to this school, all summer long I felt completely at peace regarding their schooling because I felt I knew where they would be going. As the start of school year was beginning to approach, it became clear that we didn’t have unity in our family as to our kids going to the school. So I prayed and prayed for unity and wisdom and direction. 10 days before the start of school we stopped by the school; without the people in it, the school seemed even more decrepit than I had originally noticed. But I kept reminding myself that was not what had drawn me to the school. 3 days before the start of school we went to register our kids because while there was still reluctancy, there were also no other options that had surfaced over the summer. But seeing that nothing had been done to ready the school for the return of students (in fact, new construction to expand had been started – and nowhere near the chance of being finished – right before the start of school), we felt uneasy and decided not to register them. The director graciously told us it was no problem for them to just attend without registering them the first week (i.e., without paying) as she was confident they would like it there.

Well, they didn’t like it there. We had them attend for one week to give a little time for adjusting to something so new and different. Skip to the next paragraph if you aren’t interested in the details of what bothered us. But every day more things came to light which really made us doubt the fit for our kids: Very few kids had lived in the States (in our two older kids’ classes there were 2 in each, and we don’t know about the younger two but no one that our kids thought sounded American), which brought into question integrity as well as one of the big draws of the school. Things were extremely disorganized (like being told the wrong pickup time for the first day of school). Classes were left completely unattended multiple times (including for 2.5 hours for a staff meeting during the day!). Corporeal punishment was threatened (such as being beat with a ruler for not having homework done) …and in minor ways acted upon (locking a 1st grader in the bathroom, albeit for a very short time, and pulling a kid by his ears out of the classroom). Lessons consisted mostly of copying off the board. There was so much time where kids just had to sit there and do nothing. Lessons seemed haphazard. Kids had to carry their chairs downstairs for lunch each day as well as to different classes when they switched subjects. No recess or time outside even though the outdoor space was lovely. A teacher fell asleep during the class. The building, besides being rundown, was also not kept clean. And so much more. The one thing to note is that this is not a local Togolese school. It is supposedly an international school and is offering an American program. While it is substantially cheaper than any of the “real” international schools, it is still not that cheap.

A small crisis of faith

During that first week of school, I was really struggling. The kids were unhappy and didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to send them there with all that they were telling me. But the other option we felt was possible was online school, which also didn’t appeal to any of us. I felt so strongly that this year they needed to attend a school to help with their adjustment to their still new lives in Togo. And if they were home, I would have a harder time focusing on getting ministry started, even if their teacher was an online school. I could not think of or even imagine a solution. What is more, the small crisis of faith came in because I had felt such peace about this school all summer that I really was questioning my ability to hear God accurately. And if I had misheard Him with this, what else had I or would I mishear Him in? Those were some stressful and discouraging days.

God at work

And then we reached out to our prayer warriors to pray with us for this situation. Peace and encouragement came first, reminders that God cared for our kids even more than we did, that God was faithful, that God would work it out. I also started thinking about how maybe it wasn’t that I had misheard God on this school these last couple of months, that even if things weren’t working out with it as I had thought, that it could have all been purposeful: Because of planning on this school, I had peace over the summer which was so helpful 2. God was using the trial of the first week of school to draw us as a family to Him 3. Experiencing this school allowed us all to be open to possibilities we would not otherwise have considered. 4. God would be glorified for working it out instead of myself for good planning and solutions.

The second piece we needed besides peace and encouragement was direction and wisdom. The weekend after that first week, a school came to mind (was brought to my mind!) that I had also visited in the spring. I had really been impressed by it (modern and clean building and facilities, friendly staff and students, lots of different classes such as robotics, art, music, computers, etc.). However, because it was offering a French program, I had dismissed it for our kids because we felt school in French would be too stressful, particularly for our older two. But now without any other option (all the other English options were much too expensive and even further away than the 30 minutes we were already going to be commuting each way), this school came into my mind. On Monday we all agreed that a school in French could be possible and we would visit this one that had come to mind. On Tuesday we visited it, and the kids were really impressed and all wanted to give it a try. The school agreed to let them try it out the rest of the week. Wednesday through Friday the kids went to school.

A new school

After just the first day, the kids loved it and wanted to keep going. There was not a single complaint about something that wasn’t ideal that first day. They were already connecting with other students even that first day. By the end of the second day Sébio already had three best friends! Sénadé, who all year has resisted even leaving the house (or at least going beyond the space just outside of our house), felt comfortable and wanted to keep going. Ameli, who has never liked school even since preschool, liked this school. Surprisingly, Délali, although going eagerly each day and ending the day with a smile, was the only one telling us she wasn’t sure she wanted to go (but also definitely didn’t want to go back to the other school). Amazingly, none of them felt that it being in French was too overwhelming. The older two, who have been working on French with Duolingo all year or more (and also learning while playing with cousins), feel like they understand a lot of what is being said, even if they aren’t able to speak that well yet. They feel like academically it isn’t super challenging (e.g., what they are doing in math they have all done already) which is in this case is actually helpful so they can focus on French language acquisition without the stress of difficult content. At the beginning of the week when we first started considering this other school, I thought that if there were two things that this school would bring them this year, it would be worth it: 1. Becoming fluent in French 2. Feeling settled in Togo and being able to feeling at home. From what I’ve seen in just three days, I believe both can happen because of this school.

Had it not been for the experience of the first school, we would not have been open to this school. It is in French, which we felt would be too stressful for the older two. It is even a little further away than the other school (30-35 minutes each way). It is more expensive than the other school. Now looking back, besides the purpose of peace this summer, besides the purpose of a trial that was developing perseverance and helping us become more mature in our faith (James 1), I can now see how we needed the disappointment of the other school to allow us to be open to something we had not previously considered.

Lessons learned

Wow, isn’t God so good and so faithful and so able to work things out? While I shoudn’t be amazed because I have actually experienced this truth so many times in my life (why then do I still feel like my faith is sometimes about to run out?!), I still am in awe of how God has done it yet again. When it felt like there was just no good solution possible, God brought something even better than I could imagine. In the hard days of the last couple of weeks, I clung to a couple of songs that have been so encouraging to me this year. These, along with the prayers of many, helped me cling to the truth that God would work it out, even while when it seemed like there was no way. Here are some of the lyrics from two songs that were particularly meaningful these last few weeks:

God will work it out by Maverick City
Before I knew my name, before I drew a breath
He was making ways for me
Now and everyday, in each and every step
He is making ways for me

When my heart is full of doubt
Feels like faith is running out
I've come too far to turn around
I know

God will work it out
God will work it out
One thing I know
One thing I've found
God will work it out, woah
Oh, yes, He will
Oh, things are coming together

Pushing past the fear, fighting to relief
He is making ways for me
And He won't let me down, never ever leave
He's still making ways for me

Oh
Be encouraged
Be encouraged
Be encouraged, oh

Be still my soul
Be still and know
Lean in, take hold
In God alone
Be still my soul
Be still and know
Lean in, take hold
In God alone

God will make a way by Don Moen

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me

He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way